untitled breakup

cuz cry-bebe-chan wanted me to post some shit. here's something i tried, an idea i had. it's a little rough, and i don't know how well i like it.

God it's so fucking cold out here. Sure, he's got a couple more minutes to show up, but I'm freezing my nips out here. How can it get this cold in Texas? I can't even justify buying clothes I can only where like two fucking weeks a year. God the couch looks warm. Is it the curtains that make my couch so inviting? I'm glad I decided on that pattern. I don't think their too fucking Christmassy.

You're cursing too much. You know that you've needed to do this for weeks. You've decided to be an adult about this and pull the trigger in person.

Yeah, I know. I just wish it wasn't so hard.

Look, it is cold; nobody'll be out tonight. You won't have to worry about him making a scene; the cold should keep him from being to upset. Plus, you've got Netflix waiting for you literally 10 feet away.

Oh my God yes. I absolutely adore Billy Connolly. Absolutely the most charming zombie ever. God. At least there's one good thing that came out of this relationship.

Stop. You need to be strong. You're smart and independent, and you can't waste your time with him.

I know, I know.

Is that him? Probably. I need to take a hold of myself. Deep breathes. Damn it's cold.

Yeah, that's his car stopping right in front of me. What the hell is he wearing? A hoodie? He's gonna get sick. God he's so oblivious.

"Hey babe! You ready for our zombie Christmas?"

That easy smile he always has for me makes this so hard. He doesn't give it to anyone else, and I know he didn't have it before we got together...

No, don't think that way. be strong.

"Hi. Actually we--"

God he's warm. He's always warm. Sometimes it's uncomfortable, but not now. And he always kisses me too hard, like he doesn't know how to hold back even a little. Like a drowning man. But it does feel good...

Stop! You're only enjoying it because you're cold. Be strong!!!.

Yes. Strong. Let me catch my breath again. "Listen we need to talk. I know this is the worst timing in the world..." There it is, he can see where this is going. It looks weird to see the mist come from his nose. It looks like he's starting to breathe faster. This isn't going to go well. Come on. I'm strong. Clean break. Clean break. "...I don't think we should see each other anymore."

"But why? What happened? What did I do?" Of course he doesn't understand. Why can't he just accept? Why do I have to explain? Doesn't he know how hard this is? God he's oblivious. "Listen, let's go inside and talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about." Please understand. Please please please just understand and go. What's he looking at? There's nothing down the street. Is he about to cry? I know it hurts, but it's better this way.

"Fine. You're right, of course." Is that flash of teeth suppose to be a smile? Is he gone already? This is what I wanted, right?

"We can still be friends, right? Maybe not right now..." No, he wasn't about to cry. I don't think I've ever seen him angry, but he looks very angry now.

"Friends? I don't think so. You don't know how much I hate what you've done tonight."

What the hell? He didn't even give me a chance to respond before he drove away. But this is what I wanted. Fuck it's cold.