Friday, November 14, 2008

Episode 1: Too anecdotal to be true (part 1)

wow, it's my first new original writing in what seems like years and years. here's part of the first episode for use in "interview with an angel". for clarification, episodes are intended to be logical delineations on anecdotes, where each episode constitutes one moral or lesson or whatever. also, i'm contemplating changing the pov, which is as i originally intended, but i plan to play with it and see what i like. i haven't decided on what names to use, either.

all that said, i'd now like to make the expected platitudes. blah blah blah school. blah blah blah end of semester. blah blah if i can. i mean, i've taken a break
today to work on this, haven't i?

It's a Saturday morning, and Kim and I are playing a game of tennis on our high school's courts. The campus is otherwise empty, unsurprisingly. We're comparably skilled, but it's obvious that I'm putting more effort into the game than she is.

I win the last point and give a quick, triumphant fist pump to the air before shambling to the bench to take a long draft from my thermos. Kim's amusement is plain on her face when she finally joins me at the bench, game balls in hand. She tosses the balls into her bag and sits cross-legged with exaggerated nonchalance.

"Good game" Kim says.

A little short of breath, I reply, "Thanks. You too." I'm as satisfied with myself as Kim is amused.

"Bruce, why don't you ever let me win?"

I jerk my head to emphasize my surprise. "Why should I?"

"'Cause I'm a girl."

"Ha!" I give her a sidelong glance. "You know, if I was just the slightest bit more sexist, you'd've just given me license for all sorts of... sexist shenanigans."

"Tsk. You're too sensitive to be a sexist."

I retort with an abashed "Am not! Take it back." She giggles. "But seriously, why don't you try harder?"

What I hope is a thoughtful frown replaces her laughing. "I don't know, maybe I just like hanging with you."

"Well, of course. I'm awesome." Then she punches me on the arm. To which I respond with a quick rub of my arm and a little pained laughter. "See? If I really was sensitive I'd be blushing instead of blustering."

Now she's smirking. "You are blushing."

I cut my eyes. "Well... Well, can you blame me?" I expect that I'm blushing more.

After a moment, she lightly slaps my arm where she punched me before. "Come on; let's play one more. I think I feel like beating you." She pulls the balls back out from her bag and jogs onto the court.

"That's what I like to hear."

It becomes apparent after only a few points that Kim very much intends to win, so I redouble my efforts and try to make a game of it.

4 comments:

  1. Is the use of "Bruce" relevant to our previous conversation?

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  2. psst also, in "Tsk. You're to sensitive to be a sexist." you're missing an "o"

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  3. man, so judgmental. it's fixed now.

    and yes, this is directly relately to our previous conversation, as i originally intended this to be auto-biographical (in as much as talking to an angel can be).

    however, i've embellished heavily, and chose not to use real peoples' names.

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  4. hmmm, very interesting I will not rip it apart like some other people. i like the interaction between these two it seemed to flow easily. constructively it was also where it got kind of bumpy. not the dialogue but the descriptions. good first effort kiddo and good job dusting off platitudes.

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